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Your Tax Dollars at Work: A Satirical Take on Walton County's Planning Exercise



Dear Walton County Citizens,


In case you haven't heard, we've got ourselves a planning exercise going on over the next week.


And guess what?


You're paying for it!


Yep, that's right.


Your hard-earned tax dollars are funding this extravaganza, so you might want to pay attention.


Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, let me make one thing clear: the folks running this show are top-notch professionals.


No disrespect intended.


But let's cut to the chase here. The real MVPs are our own county staff, led by the one and only Mac Carpenter, our planning director extraordinaire.


Give it up for the man!


And let's not forget about Uriah Matthews, the brains behind the Economic Development Alliance.


That guy's a rockstar, no doubt about it.


And last but certainly not least, a round of applause for all you citizens who showed up to have your voices heard.


Hats off to you!


Now, I know some of you might be feeling a tad uncomfortable with my critique, but hear me out.


The irony is, you fine folks knew more about this county than the consultants did!


And yet, here we are, shelling out a million bucks for some fancy outsiders to do what our own planning department could handle with ease.


But hey, who needs local expertise when you can hire professionals from out of town, right?


Wrong!


We've got plenty of talent right here in our own backyard, thank you very much.


And call me biased, but I'll defend our public servants 'til the cows come home.


So buckle up, folks.


For the next week, I'll be keeping a close eye on DPZ's shenanigans.


And if that rubs you the wrong way, well, tough luck.


It's election season, and I've got a duty to keep you all informed.


Yours sarcastically,


John Walton


Walton County Resident and Critic-in-Chief

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