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Walton County Residents Launch Florida Governor Talent Show

Are you vying for the esteemed title of Florida's next governor?


Well, Walton County residents have found the ultimate shortcut—a talent show of sorts, but with a twist.


This message is directed at all elected officials, whether at the local, state, or federal level: if you want to ascend to the governorship, help us reclaim our public beaches.


Legal precedent, you say?


We've got historical precedent dating back thousands of years, where everyone had the right to enjoy the beaches.


Yet, in a baffling turn of events in 2018, a cabal of lawyers, beach vendors, and private beach owners manipulated the political system to snatch away our beaches.


But fear not, for we're not playing by the old rules anymore. It's time to fight fire with fire. If you want to win the gubernatorial race, find a solution to restore our beaches.


We're not saying it'll be a walk in the park, but the prize is worth its weight in gold—you'll be crowned the next Governor of Florida.


We're a serious political action committee, and we mean business.


You scratch our backs by finding a solution, and we'll scratch yours by rallying our fellow Floridians to vote you into office. So, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Matt Gaetz, Jay Trumbull, Shane Abbott, Chuck Wilder, Danny Glidewell, Trey Nick—who among you will rise to the occasion and secure our beaches?


The stage is set, the spotlight is on, and the citizens of Walton County are eagerly awaiting your performance in the Florida Governor Talent Show. Let the auditions begin!

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